BACK ON IT AGAIN ( DUKAN DIET)

Getting on top is easy but staying there is not. I now get it. How did I go from 59kg to 78.5kg??. These past few months, all I've been doing is eating and eating all in the name of celebrating my weight loss. I lost track of my eating and everytime I tried to bounce back, i just couldn't. My taste buds won't allow me. I could literary taste noodles, fried rice or yam in my mouth even when I didn't have those food around. The taste of Coca Cola won't make me breath. And as I gave in to eating all these foods, the weight started pilling up. People I didn't even know started prompting me about it but I felt like I could control it anytime I wanted to. My face has getting bigger (something I hate). The truth was even though I knew the weight was pilling up, even though It was clear that my clothes couldn't fit me anymore, I just couldn't do anything about it. I've lost control....I kept eating anything and kept procrastinating starting a weight loss diet. Now at 78.5kg I feel tired and disappointed in myself....how did I get here. Somehow I got the courage to eat eggs this morning and I had a feeling that it was actually time to lose the weight . This time I'm doing it in my own pace and not people pressuring me to do it. There's difference between I've been there and I'm there. I've been in my 50kg's and I've felt really healthy and sexy but my 70's I'm just going through the motion. I'm eager to know how much I'll lose next week! With love NaNce!

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TIED TOGETHER WITH A SMILE

Seems the only one who doesn't see your beauty Is the face in the mirror looking back at you You walk around here thinking you're not pretty But that's not true, cause I know you..Hold on, baby, you're losing it The water's high, you're jumping into it And letting go... and no one knows That you cry, but you don't tell anyone That you might not be the golden one And you're tied together with a smile But you're coming undone I guess it's true that love was all you wanted Cause you're giving it away like it's extra change Hoping it will end up in his pocket But he leaves you out like a penny in the rain Oh, cause it's not his price to pay Not his price to pay...

LEARNING

IF YOU HAVE NEVER BEEN FED LOVE WITH A SPOON, YOU WILL LICK IT OFF A KNIFE AND YOU WILL BLEED. This is one of the favourite quote of my friend Sam. To able to understand this quote, I personally feel that you must go through unrequited love and any form of abusive relationship. t he beginning is this magical, amazing time. But the beginning is not built to last. After the beginning comes the real relationship and if it’s not a match, then things will devolve quickly. What are you really invested in here? A lot of the times we’re in love with the potential of what could have been, not the actual person. It’s so easy to project our wants and fantasies onto someone, especially someone you hardly know. this devastation we experienced is because of what the other person represented to you. what you’re lusting for isn’t the person, it’s how it used to be. You miss the beginning of the relationship, and you hold onto it as proof that you guys were in love once upon a time. Everyth...

THE GRACE OF GOD

A single picture became my motivation to the beginning of this journey. I never wanted to get my picture taken because I knew I had packed on some weight. There came in the comments from my course mates telling me how fat I’ve gotten and so on. Some even went to the extent of saying I’m not coming to class because I said I’ve gained weight; that was sad. The comments they passed did hurt but it didn’t motivate me to change my lifestyle. As time went by, I got so used to their fat body shaming and comments. But what they didn’t know was the fact that I had already given up on myself: so nothing they said was actually going to push me to change. Even with that I’ll start eating healthy for a minute, hit the gym and give up on that same week. Until my course mate took a picture of me when I wasn’t looking after I had instructed him not to take any picture of me. A single picture became my motivation to the beginning of this journey. My first look at the pictur...

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