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LEARNING


IF YOU HAVE NEVER BEEN FED LOVE WITH A SPOON, YOU WILL LICK IT OFF A KNIFE AND YOU WILL BLEED. This is one of the favourite quote of my friend Sam. To able to understand this quote, I personally feel that you must go through unrequited love and any form of abusive relationship. the beginning is this magical, amazing time. But the beginning is not built to last. After the beginning comes the real relationship and if it’s not a match, then things will devolve quickly. What are you really invested in here? A lot of the times we’re in love with the potential of what could have been, not the actual person. 

 It’s so easy to project our wants and fantasies onto someone, especially someone you hardly know. this devastation we experienced is because of what the other person represented to you. what you’re lusting for isn’t the person, it’s how it used to be. You miss the beginning of the relationship, and you hold onto it as proof that you guys were in love once upon a time. Everything is was so amazing in the beginning, so you know there is great potential here. But the beginning is an illusion. You can’t hold onto how it used to be, look at how it is now. 

 If it’s not good, if you can’t work together, if he doesn’t want to work on it, if the relationship just feels awful, then this isn’t love. Most often we are drawn to people who remind us of previous relationships, or even our relationship with a parent, and our subconscious pulls us toward them in an attempt to rectify past pains as an attempt to get it right this time around. Why is it that we confuse these horrible feelings with being in love? Feelings have a very real function; they let us know when something isn’t right, and we should change course. When you are in the wrong relationship, you will feel it. It can manifest as a physical ailment, or maybe you’ll feel it deep in your gut. Our gut can also be a powerful guide. 

 The problem is that most people don’t trust themselves and end up ignoring what their body is trying so hard to tell them. Love doesn’t feel like this. Love isn’t hard and drama-filled and painful. Love doesn’t need to be forced. True love is effortless. It feels good. It just flows. Yes, relationships take work, but those are just logistics. The work is about how to spend more time together, how to connect more, how to be more open to the other persons’ needs, etc. The work isn’t filled with obsessing over how to make him love you or even just acknowledge your existence. When you’re fixated on someone, your relationship ceases to be about enjoyment and effortlessness. Instead, it is more like you are gasping for air, desperately hoping they’ll give you whatever it is you think you need from them.  IF YOU HAVE NEVER BEEN FED LOVE WITH A SPOON, YOU WILL LICK IT OFF A KNIFE AND YOU WILL BLEED



A NEW MODE!

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