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HOW ARE YOU???

So as I sat down watching Being Mary Jane season three episode three I had my little epiphany. It was when Mary Jane was eulogizing Lisa. I could totally relate to a part of the eulogy.

Good morning how are you? I've been asked how are you so many times and my answer has always been, I'm okay or I'm fine.....then that's it. Because thats what people are generally expecting you to say since you are alive and kicking. Sometimes we are not fine but we are afraid of the follow up questions and we don't want to show our vulnerability by answering them. I have not been fine for months now, but anytime someone asked me how are you?  I just said I'm fine. But I wasn't fine....i lost the love of my life and he's gone; he left me all alone and I'm stuck. "I realised that I'm a liar, i'm a big liar and a good liar. We all are,  we are all just pretending we are okay when we are really not. You know it's not even enough for us just to lie. 

We really expect everyone to lie too. It's like we are afraid that the whole world is going to come falling down if we are honest with one another all of the time. I absolutely believe that the lies we tell each other that's what is killing us".

So I know that a lot of you reading know that I'm Nancy and  I'm from Ghana. I am A and B student not a straight A like Lisa and I'm going to my 3rd year in Christian Service University College. My father left me when I was 10 years old and I carry that pain with me everywhere I go.

My whole life I've been in pain. I also suffered from depression and I've suffered and still suffering from unrequited love. And I've suffered and still suffering from the silent treatment way too many times. People must have asked me a thousand times over the past 2 years...How are you?? Like how are you?? But I don't know if i actually wanted to hear my truth and now I've lost everything.

I don't know whether I've touched so many lives like Lisa but I've been literally carrying everyone one my shoulders and being honest. I think the best way to really treat each other, is to stop being Liars,  to actually embrace the truth. I've learnt to not ask just how are you but to really ask how are you seriously???. Just make sure you tell everyone that you love,  that you will love them no matter how ugly their truth is, you will still love them.

Remember once the things you told me, and how the tears ran from my eyes. They didn't fall because it hurt me, I just hate to see you cry. Sometimes I wish we could be strangers so I didn't have to know your pain. But if I kept myself from danger, this emptiness would feel the same

I ain't no angel, I never was but I never hurt you. It's not my fault. You see those egg shells, they're broken up
A million pieces, strung out across the ground.

SOURCE: Being Mary Jane S3
                Birdy - No Angel
                NaNce.

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