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JINXED

I'm starting to think that I'm really jinxed.....like for real. I'm sitting here wondering what I've done wrong. Come on its like I've been cursed not to find love. This thing hurts. Oh I now really do believe that this thing called love is not for everyone. It's funny how you spot them and you actually think he's the one but it's sad when all the connection is there but he doesn't want you.

Where did I go wrong??  Yooooor!!!!!! Is it my fault that I'm a hopeless romantic? Is it my fault that I see good in everyone even when I'm not suppose to??? Is it my fault that  I still believe that someday someone will walk into my life and love me right like the way I love him?? Maybe it's my fault.. But no why is it my fault??? 

My beautiful friend Bridget found one.....and now she's happily married. I hate this feeling....i hate the fact that I'm actually crying over a decision I took. I'm really disappointed in myself for breaking my heart again. I'm really sad. My happily ever after, that dream that I've been longing for, can never be a reality. They say I keep loving the wrong people but how would you know whether he's right or not???. Is it my fault that some people are great pretenders and I can't see through them?.

This time I wasn't really looking or searching....it just came and knocked me down like I was some piece on garbage. How come some people meet and it progress to even happily ever after??? Even if it's not happily ever after it doesn't end just like that, How come???

What is wrong with me?? Am I not good enough???  Or smart enough?? Where did I go wrong????!!!!!!!!. What's happening???. As I'm writing this I feel like someone is hammering my chest....a corner of my heart just sunk. I can't always be crying. Just like my friend Alex will always say, "I've fully retired" this love thing, this relationship thing, this care thing, ain't for me. If you've been lucky to find one, congratulations; i'm really happy for you.

NB: Dear Austin T,  I could have giving you all of me and made you the happiest man ever. I would have given up all I own and stay with you. There was a never a day that I thought of hurting....but you are too busy loving someone who's not me. You are too busy chasing the people who will always hurt you. Honestly, regardless of everything,  you are still amazing but its time for me to go,  heal and get back on my feet. Be Well Austin T.... My Austin T😅😅

I've spent most of my life deep down inside myself... I've dreamt about the possibility of someone else....who can see the things I've seen and still be with me😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢

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