Difficult year ever! Yh I know nothing good has ever happened in my life that can bring a big change but this year I completely missed out on everything! My luck ran out on me...Love ran out on me! I found myself messing with the wrong people. I broke down infront of the wrong people. Money ran out on me....had to go through humiliation and embarrassment . Did everything right but nothing worked out for me except my weight. Friends I thought I can count on blew me off...they only called when they needed you to do fuck up things for them. People who thought they all the right to trash you because I'm below their standard also did their own thing......took me for granted. Lost some people along the way. Cried and prayed for almost everything hoping for a change but never saw anything, all I saw was wicked and selfish people walking in and out of my life because I was weak to stop them. The difficult part is missing someone you probably will never see again (dad) kept all the things I want to say to him inside I mean things would have been different if he was here. Taking the blame for the shit people did to me was also painful but had no other option. Had to beg people for love and friendship. Entering the year 2013, I went to church thanking God and praying for all of these things for this year. I did not see any of my request come through, 2013 was not my year, as a matter of fact, where did 2013 go? So 2014 I'll just keep calm and watch God! At least if nothing better goes on in my life I'll know I didn't pray for anything. I'm thankful for my mum's life she's been there all this time and mine that's all I'm thankful for!so right here alone in my bed my prayer is Dear God if you going let me go through the same shit in 2014 then don't let me see 2014 and when I'm gone please comfort my mum for me she did a whole lot for me please make her life better and end her suffering Amen! 2013 took everything I had from me!
Hi guys It has been a while and I just came here to tell you that I am finally 28 yaaaay! Okay hold up I didn’t come here to simply say that. I’m sorry I left you all in the dark but I’m back. Are you still mad? Come on!!!! Okay. How have I been? I’ve been good but my mirror says otherwise. Well if we are keeping this page a judgement free zone, at this point I can genuinely say I don't have the foggiest idea. I quit thinking about how I should feel, taking the path of least resistance has been the new me. I pass by the mindset of "goodness this individual did this to me, I deserve that". If you ask me what I’m living for me now, I’ll tell you I’m living for my mother. I’ve stopped caring and thinking about myself and what I want. Presently I'm increasingly centered around what I should accomplish for my mom before I pass on, or she bites the dust. I need that woman to be proud of me and be fulfilled before I drop dead. I realize that is miserable and it makes me ...
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