Difficult year ever! Yh I know nothing good has ever happened in my life that can bring a big change but this year I completely missed out on everything! My luck ran out on me...Love ran out on me! I found myself messing with the wrong people. I broke down infront of the wrong people. Money ran out on me....had to go through humiliation and embarrassment . Did everything right but nothing worked out for me except my weight. Friends I thought I can count on blew me off...they only called when they needed you to do fuck up things for them. People who thought they all the right to trash you because I'm below their standard also did their own thing......took me for granted. Lost some people along the way. Cried and prayed for almost everything hoping for a change but never saw anything, all I saw was wicked and selfish people walking in and out of my life because I was weak to stop them. The difficult part is missing someone you probably will never see again (dad) kept all the things I want to say to him inside I mean things would have been different if he was here. Taking the blame for the shit people did to me was also painful but had no other option. Had to beg people for love and friendship. Entering the year 2013, I went to church thanking God and praying for all of these things for this year. I did not see any of my request come through, 2013 was not my year, as a matter of fact, where did 2013 go? So 2014 I'll just keep calm and watch God! At least if nothing better goes on in my life I'll know I didn't pray for anything. I'm thankful for my mum's life she's been there all this time and mine that's all I'm thankful for!so right here alone in my bed my prayer is Dear God if you going let me go through the same shit in 2014 then don't let me see 2014 and when I'm gone please comfort my mum for me she did a whole lot for me please make her life better and end her suffering Amen! 2013 took everything I had from me!
Life challenges are definitely not fun but its super worth it. if someone told me I would be saying the “worth it” part, I would stand up and point them out. This particular post marks the end of my writing for 2017; I couldn’t get much done anyway (in terms of writing). I can’t say it’s my best year yet but I can definitely say it’s the year that has really taught me so many things about myself. it taught me acceptance, letting go and most importantly patience. I found myself getting to know more about God and His ways of doing things for my own good. The first few months was very difficult for me. I was struggling to find my feet and to put me first. I had a few setbacks here and there. I kept holding on to things I thought I deserved then. I leaned on my own understanding to get things done; thereby beating myself up when things didn’t go as I wanted. In all I count myself lucky because now I strongly know and believe that all the things I went through was ...
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