Difficult year ever! Yh I know nothing good has ever happened in my life that can bring a big change but this year I completely missed out on everything! My luck ran out on me...Love ran out on me! I found myself messing with the wrong people. I broke down infront of the wrong people. Money ran out on me....had to go through humiliation and embarrassment . Did everything right but nothing worked out for me except my weight. Friends I thought I can count on blew me off...they only called when they needed you to do fuck up things for them. People who thought they all the right to trash you because I'm below their standard also did their own thing......took me for granted. Lost some people along the way. Cried and prayed for almost everything hoping for a change but never saw anything, all I saw was wicked and selfish people walking in and out of my life because I was weak to stop them. The difficult part is missing someone you probably will never see again (dad) kept all the things I want to say to him inside I mean things would have been different if he was here. Taking the blame for the shit people did to me was also painful but had no other option. Had to beg people for love and friendship. Entering the year 2013, I went to church thanking God and praying for all of these things for this year. I did not see any of my request come through, 2013 was not my year, as a matter of fact, where did 2013 go? So 2014 I'll just keep calm and watch God! At least if nothing better goes on in my life I'll know I didn't pray for anything. I'm thankful for my mum's life she's been there all this time and mine that's all I'm thankful for!so right here alone in my bed my prayer is Dear God if you going let me go through the same shit in 2014 then don't let me see 2014 and when I'm gone please comfort my mum for me she did a whole lot for me please make her life better and end her suffering Amen! 2013 took everything I had from me!
A single picture became my motivation to the beginning of this journey. I never wanted to get my picture taken because I knew I had packed on some weight. There came in the comments from my course mates telling me how fat I’ve gotten and so on. Some even went to the extent of saying I’m not coming to class because I said I’ve gained weight; that was sad. The comments they passed did hurt but it didn’t motivate me to change my lifestyle. As time went by, I got so used to their fat body shaming and comments. But what they didn’t know was the fact that I had already given up on myself: so nothing they said was actually going to push me to change. Even with that I’ll start eating healthy for a minute, hit the gym and give up on that same week. Until my course mate took a picture of me when I wasn’t looking after I had instructed him not to take any picture of me. A single picture became my motivation to the beginning of this journey. My first look at the pictur...
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