Difficult year ever! Yh I know nothing good has ever happened in my life that can bring a big change but this year I completely missed out on everything! My luck ran out on me...Love ran out on me! I found myself messing with the wrong people. I broke down infront of the wrong people. Money ran out on me....had to go through humiliation and embarrassment . Did everything right but nothing worked out for me except my weight. Friends I thought I can count on blew me off...they only called when they needed you to do fuck up things for them. People who thought they all the right to trash you because I'm below their standard also did their own thing......took me for granted. Lost some people along the way. Cried and prayed for almost everything hoping for a change but never saw anything, all I saw was wicked and selfish people walking in and out of my life because I was weak to stop them. The difficult part is missing someone you probably will never see again (dad) kept all the things I want to say to him inside I mean things would have been different if he was here. Taking the blame for the shit people did to me was also painful but had no other option. Had to beg people for love and friendship. Entering the year 2013, I went to church thanking God and praying for all of these things for this year. I did not see any of my request come through, 2013 was not my year, as a matter of fact, where did 2013 go? So 2014 I'll just keep calm and watch God! At least if nothing better goes on in my life I'll know I didn't pray for anything. I'm thankful for my mum's life she's been there all this time and mine that's all I'm thankful for!so right here alone in my bed my prayer is Dear God if you going let me go through the same shit in 2014 then don't let me see 2014 and when I'm gone please comfort my mum for me she did a whole lot for me please make her life better and end her suffering Amen! 2013 took everything I had from me!
Is it possible for someone to smile whilst dying inside? I've never been a believer of this until it really happened to me. Let me brief you. It started with my friend Derrick who lost the love of his life J. Everyone who knew them was very shocked to hear about their break up because they were the "it" couple. If you weren't actually feeling what my friend was feeling, you would say he's full of drama and exaggeration. Indeed my friend had the broken heart syndrome and was suffering in silence for months. Let me fast forward....a couple of months later, I made the "stupidest" mistake that cost me the love of my life too and broke my heart into a million tiny pieces They say you don't know what you have until you lose it....true talk. I ended up saying its over to the love of my life Eric and he didn't hesitate accepting it. He really accepted it even after countless times of me begging him to come back to me; there's no way I can blame him ...
Comments
Post a Comment