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CARDINAL SIN???...FLESH ON A WOMAN

Somehow I found myself gaining almost 40 pounds of the 100 pounds I lost back. Yeah I can say Christmas took a piece of me. Growing up as a “FAT” girl, I must say it was never an easy thing. I can tell you that I saw it and heard it all; ranging from nasty comments to the dirty eye looks. People treated me as if I wasn't good enough. I can honestly tell you that they treated me as if I had HIV/AIDS. It was as if being “FAT” was disgusting. Nobody really liked or loved me genuinely. Most of the times, I had to trade something for the company of others. My friend Winifred Oberg was always around. And I didn't really get why she always wanted to hang out with me. Until I lost the weight and I knew that was love. My mother was always there willing to support me in every way. 


I had low self-esteem due to the constant hearing of the negative comments. I was looking for acceptance from other people and none of them gave me. Sometimes the nasty comment from people was too much to bear. I had to go home and cry. I can clearly remember my mother telling me “Afia this is how you were born and you are very beautiful….don’t let them get to you”. But my mother’s words came too late. They already got to me. They had ripped away my  self-confident and self-esteem. Going out was very difficult; I couldn't even looked up straight when I was walking….I wanted to be invisible. I was scared of them noticing and teasing me all the way to my house or wherever I was going; even in school.


One day I woke up and lost all the weight and there, everyone wanted to be my friend. People were actually talking to me now. Boys wanted to date me for what I've become. I was proud of myself. I used to say the only thing I've achieved so far was losing the weight. That was very true. But little did I know that the hardest part of losing weight was the maintenance phase. Unfortunately, I gained back 40 pounds 3 years or so later. And I thought I had seen and heard all the nasty comments from my childhood to my teens….but I was wrong. I realized nothing has changed. People are still being mean and assholes to “FAT” people. I realized they are still treating “FAT” people like we don’t matter. It’s really sad to see how bold they can stand up to you, tease and attack you. 


I thought I've heard it all until some few days ago, someone I actually trusted and loved told me I’m not beautiful anymore because  I’m fat. That’s the worst thing I've ever heard in my life after Sugarland. I was really sad and broken, knowing that was coming from him. Moreover I was very sad to know that beauty has now been limited to being skinny more than ever. No wonder girls are killing themselves with diet and diet pills. When it comes to weight, it’s a very sensitive thing. 


Some boys will insult and tell you they can’t date you because you are fat. Meanwhile the have a sister or mother at home who is probably twice or even thrice your size….REALLY???? 


I’m not going to apologize for having the tendency of gaining weight easily. I’m not going to bow down my head just because some stupid people out there just don’t know how to shut up and walk away without saying anything. It’s not fair to kill a little girl self-esteem from the scratch because she is fat. 


We don’t need to hear your stupid, rude and depressing comment. Telling someone he or she is UGLY because he or she is “FAT” IS NOT A JOKE OR PLAY. AND IT CAN NEVER BE. 


In fact I’m at that point where if you make me feel bad about myself, I will never talk to you again. “FAT” people have feelings too. We genuinely have good hearts more than those skinny and “well-shaped” people out there. We are smart, intelligent and very innovative.  Enough of the body shaming. Enough of the negative comments and the tease. We don’t need to hear them anymore. We have a damn mirror in our house for Christ sake. If you want to say something, motivate the fuck out of me (us) to lose the weight or to live a healthy lifestyle  and not try to put me (us) down to make yourself feel better. This stupid! You all should be ashamed of yourselves for making us cry and ruining our day…..everyday!!!!!!  

IS IT A CARDINAL SIN FOR A WOMAN TO HAVE FLESH??????? 

I rest my case!

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