AFIA'S DIARY

The most depressing thing in the world is having a closet full of clothes but you can't  fit in them....yeah very sad. I managed to lose weight with the dukan  diet but I wasn't discipline enough to maintain the weight. My weight kept going up and down to the  point where I couldn't control myself anymore. So I started to binge eating and purge. I've purged on and off for almost a year or two now. At 83.6kg Honestly I didn't feel good about it but I was desperate to lose the weight because that was the only option I had; since i couldn't control my eating habit. When my friend Fortuna died early this year,  my eating got out of control, I said to myself, "Life is too short to be dieting and struggling everyday". So I started eating anything I could lay my hands on. After her burial my weight has escalated to 83.6kg. Then I was really tired of feeling miserable, so I promised my friend and myself that I will take care of me,  focus o...

Dear 2016, I welcome you with a heart full of expectations this time around. Before the ending of 2015, I had the opportunity to read this amazing speech gave by Oprah Winfrey at a Stanford graduation. The speech was all about feelings, failure and finding happiness. It really opened my mind and heart to some things (aha moment) and I said to myself that’s exactly the three key things I will be holding on to in 2016 to make good decisions. I’m expecting to be very happy. By putting God first and accepting myself. And i also seek to serve and help others. I’m not going to pretend to be something that I am not. I will still be the same old girl who smiles at everyone just to brighten their day. The girl who put the needs of others before hers. The girl who truly believes that love conquers all and it comes to only those who believe and does not give up.  The girl who makes people happy all the time. Why? Because I am who I am at all times. No bullshit, no fucking filter; just...

It was a very great night……..we ended 2015 in style. Awesome! Remember the sick party I told you guys about in my last post? Yes I ‘repped’ it so hard and it was a blast. It was very nice to see all the young single adult coming together to mingle and have fun. I got to sit down and chat with some of the people I know and also had the chance to meet new people. For me, I think this is the best young single adult dinner ever. There was more opportunity for us to dance and express ourselves; and for me that was a wonderful thing. Even though I was kind of late I had mad fun. Of course, I’m always the life of every party. So here are some pictures for you guys. Enjoy After the party, I had the chance to experience something  I've  never experienced before. I went to the club!!!! Yeeeeesss baby!!!!....with other four friends of mine!! It was really uncomfortable at first but I really adjusted to the environment. I must sa...

Alright so 2015  didn't  go according to my expectations but I took it in good faith. Honestly I don’t remember a single happy moment in 2015. The tears and disappointments were major…..i lost myself in this year. I met some really terrible people. I was too busy trying to make the people around me feel loved and good to the point where I forgot myself. School was always tiring and sometimes annoying but I managed to enter my second year. I lost the love of my life somewhere in February….and the rest was history. I met new friends but wait can I call them friends?. No because some of them really said despicable things about me which by the way they think I have no clue about it. 2015 I can say that you are a very mean person  because  you took everything away from me. Let me fast forward it to December. I asked for a Christmas miracle from God but I  didn't  get it and I know He knows best. I dint get a call or text from anyone wishing...

"So it's not gonna be easy. It's going to be really hard; we're gonna have to work at this everyday, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, forever, everyday. You and me...every day." -Nicholas Sparks To the next person who loves me, Whoever you are and where ever you are. I look forward to meeting you. But you should know, I don’t half ass many things in life…love included. So when you love me, I'm the type that loves hard. So when you love me, I'm gonna love you deeply. So when you love me, I'm gonna love only you. Because unlike most…I know how to love the right way. And when I do I’ll change your life, if you're able to reciprocate it. But before we get there, please know a few things… “So it’s not gonna be easy… I don’t know if I’m an easy person to love, because I value love in it’s entirety. I’m very guarded. I don’t trust too many people. I know it has nothing to do with you....

Is it possible for someone to smile whilst dying inside? I've never been a believer of this until it really happened to me. Let me brief you. It started with my friend Derrick who lost the love of his life J. Everyone who knew them was very shocked to hear about their break up because they were the "it" couple. If you weren't actually feeling what my friend was feeling, you would say he's full of drama and exaggeration. Indeed my friend  had the broken heart syndrome and was suffering in silence for months. Let me fast forward....a couple of months later, I made the "stupidest" mistake that cost me the love of my life too and broke my heart into a million tiny pieces They say you don't know what you have until you lose it....true talk. I ended up saying its over to the love of my life Eric and he didn't hesitate accepting it. He really accepted it even after countless times of me begging him to come back to me; there's no way I can blame him ...

Getting on top is easy but staying there is not. I now get it. How did I go from 59kg to 78.5kg??. These past few months, all I've been doing is eating and eating all in the name of celebrating my weight loss. I lost track of my eating and everytime I tried to bounce back, i just couldn't. My taste buds won't allow me. I could literary taste noodles, fried rice or yam in my mouth even when I didn't have those food around. The taste of Coca Cola won't make me breath. And as I gave in to eating all these foods, the weight started pilling up. People I didn't even know started prompting me about it but I felt like I could control it anytime I wanted to. My face has getting bigger (something I hate). The truth was even though I knew the weight was pilling up, even though It was clear that my clothes couldn't fit me anymore, I just couldn't do anything about it. I've lost control....I kept eating anything and kept procrastinating starting a weight loss die...